· During foreplay, he's always double-clicking your G-spot.

· His new computer includes a DVD-ROM drive, a 56k modem, and a tissue dispenser.

· When she wants you to take off your pants, she says, "Scroll down."

· C:\Downloads\Porn\2002\July\03\10PM-11PM\

· Tells everyone he's a pioneer in "palm computing."

· He's suing Playboy.com for repetitive stress injuries.

· Her favorite actor? Tommy Lee.

· When he sees a hot babe, he wryly says, "Boy, I'd like to click on her."

· You look deep into his eyes and see a faint image of Asia Carrera burned into his corneas.

· As you undress, he takes out his credit card and tells you his birthday.

· During sex, he shouts, "Refresh! Refresh!"

· His version of foreplay: You lie naked on the bed with a sheet covering you. He pulls it down slowly for ten minutes.

· During sex, she shouts, "More bandwidth!